Can you step outside of yourself?

I've taken some time away from writing after the conclusion of the heated election season (although the MN Senate race remains hot and heavy).  There were many great victories along with even greater defeats.  It goes without saying that the election of Barack Obama as President provides forward motion on so many levels for the United States.  I am truly filled with hope for what it to come.

However, on certain days that hope is stifled.  There are days in which I am reminded that while America had a great victory in electing its president, it had many losses when a variety of states chose to deny and take away rights from their gay citizens.

In reflecting on these defeats and considering what might be the best way to move forward, I can't help but think there is something missing from the debate.  It's almost impossible to know what is in fact the best way to move the cause of equal rights forward - but I always come back to one thought:  at the end of the day we are all humans.

When you think about the struggle for human rights that spans our history it essentially comes down to a simple formula: different = threat.  It looks like this.  Group A sees something different about Group B and automatically equates that difference as bad, as somehow a threat to Group A's way of life.  In order to maintain their comfort, Group A seeks to ensure that Group B doesn't enjoy the same basic rights as Group A.  This will give Group A the comfort of not having to learn about Group B and Group A can continue to believe the Group A's beliefs are truth - the last word.

I think the most important thing that is missing, and always has been missing, in the discourse on equality is the ability or willingness to step outside of one's self and truly attempt to understand what it's like for the other group.  As humans, we get so caught up fighting for our side, we have this notion that what we personally believe must be right and the other side must be wrong - no matter what.  We don't take time to time to consider what it must feel like to be on the receiving end of our words.

So as the conversation on gay rights continues, I  would hope that those that fight so hard to ensure that gay people don't have the same basic human rights as they, attempt to understand how it feels to be on the receiving end of the oppression.  This isn't an easy task, it takes a true commitment to understanding what it's like to be someone you know nothing about.  It is truly stepping outside of yourself and entering the heart and mind of another person.  But we are all humans and we all share emotions - so try to understand those emotions and see how you might react.

Consider:

• How might it feel to be told constantly that the relationship with the person you are in love with is not valid?
  
• When all you want to do is live your life with your family and contribute to society, but you are told that you can't because your relationship equates to incest - how might that feel?
• When you want nothing else but to enjoy the same rights of protection in committing yourself to the person you love, and you are told that your love is perverse - how might you feel?
• When people go on television and tell you that you are worse for America than terrorists - how might you feel?
• When people equate your love to that of pedophilia - how might you feel?
• When all you want to do is raise children in a loving, supportive family, and you are told that you can't because your love is morally wrong - how might you feel?
• When you are told that your love will lead to the destruction of society - how might you feel?

I know these questions have been asked before, but I have to wonder if people truly consider them.  Do they actually step outside of their own narrow world view and consider the perspective of others - consider the perspective and life experience of the people they are trying to oppress?  I don't think so.  If they did, they might realize the hate in their words and they might just realize the irrational basis for their argument.

Step outside of yourself once in awhile and whole-heartedly consider what it's like to be someone else.  You just might be surprised what you discover.